the land of lost souls

this is not post about a magical part of new york, but about an important part nonetheless. my book club has been reading "the land of the lost souls" by cadillac man, a homeless writer who's lived on the streets for years and chronicled his life and loves and those he's lost. his original article about life on the outside ran in esquire back in 2005, and much of it is expounded upon in the book. it's a difficult read. the things he describes are not pretty at best; awful and heart-breaking at worst. it's not always a nice depiction of our city, but at the same time there are a lot of bright moments of human interaction. he has a love affair with a young woman that he saves from an attack; there are friends that he can count on from all walks of life; diner owners and kindly waitresses offer extra cups of coffee or food to go.

it's a hard read but worth it. it opened my eyes to the people that i often don't see. i think that most people have a hard time interacting with the homeless in this city. it makes me sad to see people so down and my heart goes out to them, but it's difficult to know what a donation is actually going to. cadillac man is honest--most of the money that people beg for goes to alcohol or drugs; those who don't use and are homeless by choice often prefer to work (by canning or doing odd jobs) to pay for their small living expenses. and many people are dangerous, to fellow homeless and to "outsiders" as he calls those of us fortunate enough to go home at night. this is a tough city to survive in no matter what your means, but the world cadillac lives in is rougher than any i think i could imagine. it just made me feel very blessed that i came to this city with a job and a home and a support system, and that i am able to make a living and keep myself comfortable. in these economic times (how sick are we all of this phrase?) it's a good reminder: i have a roof over my head and food on my table, and i am very lucky indeed.

stand clear, if you please

today i was on the 1 train, and i had a particularly genteel conductor, who said, as we waited at penn station:

"step in please, don't be tentative. step in please, we're ready to proceed."

if only every commute was so pleasant.

independence days

bonjour! c'est bastille . . . day. (jour du bastille? je ne sais pas--my high school french is starting to fail me.)

today is bastille day, the celebration of french independence (post-marie antoinette, right? my high school history is starting to fail me.) there is a little french community here in cobble hill, so on bastille day a few neighborhood restaurants get together to put on festivities. i met up with aa and her boyfriend p on smith street, for sausages (p), ice cream sandwiches (aa) and iced tea (me.) in spite of the heat, it was surprisingly crowded, as people ate and drank and played petanque in the streets. it was such a fun little celebration and i enjoyed hearing random passersby speaking french. i love how new york cultural events bring out people of that nationality; as i mentioned to p, if i lived in paris and they threw a 4th of july paty, i'd totally go. there's something so universal about the need to spend special occasions with people who share your traditions.

speaking of the 4th, we had a really great experience this year. we hadn't made plans to leave town, as s's family was headed into town for vacation last sunday. this turned out in our favor, as his boss invited us to watch the fireworks--over the hudson this year--from their offices on the 11th floor of the film center, on 9th avenue. after a day of chores, visiting with family, and board games and dinner on the balcony, it ended up being the perfect way to spend the evening. low key, but a perfect vantage point and comfy chairs, and without the pressure of the crowds usually associated with big city events. as we toasted with champagne and one of the adults softly sang the star-spangled banner, i felt very patriotic indeed.