the land of lost souls

this is not post about a magical part of new york, but about an important part nonetheless. my book club has been reading "the land of the lost souls" by cadillac man, a homeless writer who's lived on the streets for years and chronicled his life and loves and those he's lost. his original article about life on the outside ran in esquire back in 2005, and much of it is expounded upon in the book. it's a difficult read. the things he describes are not pretty at best; awful and heart-breaking at worst. it's not always a nice depiction of our city, but at the same time there are a lot of bright moments of human interaction. he has a love affair with a young woman that he saves from an attack; there are friends that he can count on from all walks of life; diner owners and kindly waitresses offer extra cups of coffee or food to go.

it's a hard read but worth it. it opened my eyes to the people that i often don't see. i think that most people have a hard time interacting with the homeless in this city. it makes me sad to see people so down and my heart goes out to them, but it's difficult to know what a donation is actually going to. cadillac man is honest--most of the money that people beg for goes to alcohol or drugs; those who don't use and are homeless by choice often prefer to work (by canning or doing odd jobs) to pay for their small living expenses. and many people are dangerous, to fellow homeless and to "outsiders" as he calls those of us fortunate enough to go home at night. this is a tough city to survive in no matter what your means, but the world cadillac lives in is rougher than any i think i could imagine. it just made me feel very blessed that i came to this city with a job and a home and a support system, and that i am able to make a living and keep myself comfortable. in these economic times (how sick are we all of this phrase?) it's a good reminder: i have a roof over my head and food on my table, and i am very lucky indeed.