new crush: gustave courbet

he's pretty good looking, right? the bohemian artist crush?

friday night i met s after work, the plan being to head up to the guggenheim to see the cai guo qiang show that i am desperate to see. but when we walked up to the museum, the line stretched out the door and down the block, and i just didn't want to peer past ten pairs of shoulders, even if i was paying what i wanted. being in the neighborhood and the proud owners of memberships (thanks again, mom) we decided to spend the evening in the met. they've got two really fantastic and different shows right now. we started with the gustave courbet show, a remarkable collection of paintings. we'd spoken briefly about courbet in my college survey courses (which tend to hit the "big points"), and we talked mainly about his social paintings, depicting the peasant classes in his hometown, never before the subject of serious paintings of great beauty (if included in art, they were idealized or background characters, which is what made realist scenes like the burial at ornans so shocking and spectacular.) so what i didn't know is how prolific courbet was, at realist scenes, portraits of friends and family, nudes, land and seascapes, images of the hunt, and my favorite, self-portraits. courbet was pretty handsome (hence the crush), but what i really loved about the portraits is that he liked to paint himself in character.

the desperate man has been incorporated into the show's logo, and stares you down as you enter. his eyes are mesmerizing (i promise the internet does this no justice), and while he looks crazed, he also radiates with purpose, a desperate man on a mission.

i also really liked the wounded man (i mean, he's an old-hollywood heartthrob, am i right?) this originally included a sleeping woman, and no wound, but when he broke up with then-girlfriend virginie, she got painted out of the picture and he shot himself with crimson paint. (ladies have never had an easy time in the art world.) aside from my new crush, it was a really interesting show, and i felt i developed a new appreciation for an artist i mainly knew from a throw-away joke in picasso at the lapin agile.

we followed courbet with the jasper johns: gray show, which was really beautiful and powerful in its simplicity. johns, a prolific artist fond of exploring the repetition of familiar images and motifs seen in new ways, is particularly interested in the color (or lack of?) gray, and this exhibit is full of paintings, assemblages and prints in the monotone. it's actually much more visually arresting than it might sounds, especially because johns is a master of so many different art-making techniques (i was particularly wowed by his prints on plastic--they have a really incredible translucency to them) and employs a variety of patterns and images. i think s was less impressed by johns (he really liked the courbets), but i was in modern art heaven.

post-museum, we headed down to e 6th street for some indian food. when i went to london a few years ago, we went to the east end for dinner one night (london's curry capital.) it was the only place where i have ever walked down the street as people tried, one after the other, to lure me into their restaurant. s had never experienced this before, so 6th st and its hawkers caught him a little off-guard. we got ambushed into one restaurant, and narrowly escaped with our lives when i realized it wasn't the one we wanted (seriously, they chased me shouting "miss! miss! this table!" as i ran for the door, politely refusing all the way) before finding some delicious food, chewed to the dulcet tones of a sitar player one table away.

saturday was our lazy day (s paid his taxes, i did crossword puzzles in the sunshine from the window) until we decided to go out with our roommates to union hall last night. have i written of my love for union hall? it's what i imagine a turn-of the century men's club to look like, with red velvet sofas and bookshelves to the ceiling, indoor bocce ball courts and painted portraits of shriners on the walls. we put ourselves on the list to play, but bocce is quite popular with park slope hip kids, and i was content just to watch. there was burlesque in the basement last night, but we stayed upstairs to talk and drink and talk some more. union hall feels cozy, like you're hanging out at the apartment of your coolest uncle. we went out early, and got home in time for me to go to bed and wake up ready to head to work this morning. it's about as perfect as a saturday gets, i think.

today

today i helped my boss write a witty birthday card for philip roth. seriously, philip roth. they had lunch a few weeks ago because he wrote about her boyfriend in a part of the human stain, and she bought him a card and then couldn't figure out what to say.

dear philip,
if you are reading this, i made that funny monica-lewinsky-purse-company joke. it was me. let's be friends.
love, m

i want to study at the graffiti research lab

i think this is amazing:


G.R.L. @ M.o.M.A. from fi5e on Vimeo.

anyone want to go to the armory show with me this weekend? if i used my aging student id, it'll only be $10.

best weekend ever

some weekends, i think, are really fun and relaxing and you see people you like and have fun. some weekends are productive--you get some chores done and feel good. THIS weekend, however, was a fabulous combination of the two.

thursday: s and i went out to dinner at the delicious miracle grill, this cute little southwestern place in park slope. i like anything with tequila, but the limon fresco was particularly good. we had one of those big relationship talks over dinner, too, and i was further reminded of why he is so important to me, why this relationship is the best i've ever had (and ever will have.) i took him out for amaretto sours at 12th street bar and grill, which i like better in the daytime. (it's quieter, with fewer dudes watching basketball on tv.) but it's a nice spot, and it feels like a neighborhood place, which i like a lot. we ambled home to push a few epis of house m.d. and fell asleep.

friday: i had an appointment to get my taxes done, which i know sounds all fancy, but i had five jobs in three different states last year, and i am not so good with the math and the numbers, so i walked down to colacino partners and handed over my w2s. s had to bring me my checkbook, so in thanks i took him out to brunch at dizzy's, which is one of my favorite neighborhood spots, and usually packed full of local families. we ate and chatted and squeezed out to head home so that s could go to work. i did laundry (the machine is finally fixed) and then headed into manhattan to the park avenue armory (which is such a cool building) to meet up with a friend from work, bhr. he's also a former art history major, so we had a great time discussing the pieces in the whitney biennial. (unless you read this and go sunday, you've missed the chance to see some very cool stuff, at least at this satellite space.) i particularly liked the piece by mk guth, ties of protection and safekeeping (2007-08), an interactive installation, where the artist had people write on red flannel in response to the question "what is worth protecting?" (which of course provides a multitude of responses, some faux-profound like "children" and some silly like "catties are god's favorite creatures," which really made me laugh.) the flannel flags were then braided into long ropes with artificial hair and strung around a room, so that the pieces brushed your shoulders as you walked through. it looked like a strange set-piece, and i liked the feeling of standing in a room strung with wished-for protection. also worth my free admission was dj olive (gregor asch)'s triage (2008), a tented room with cots that we laid down on in order to listen to the soundscape. it was a totally different way to experience an installation, and i loved listening to the piece. (also, this middle-aged asian tourist was totally freaked out by a woman who had fallen asleep experiencing the piece. she didn't believe us when we told her the woman was real and just asleep, and got really close to her, just to check, and then jumped back in fright and ran away when the sleeper turned her head. then the woman took pictures. it was hilarious.) last night was the co-worker park slope happy hour no. 2, as organized by myself and ls, another work friend. bhr and i took the train to bar tano, a totally cute bar on a not so totally cute corner. my owf, her boyfriend (whom i had not yet met, but really liked), my neighbor, his roommate and ls were all there, and we had a nice evening talking work and non-work. (i also had the most delicious drink ever, the tano, which is muddled orange, whiskey, triple sec and some other things. to-die-for, i thought. i know this now sounds like the weekend of acohol, but it wasn't really.) after a while, and being joined by another co-worker, we decided to get mexican food and hang out at our apartment. the six of us converged on boyland and ate, drank and played wii for a few hours. i really really like the group i've met at work. the young contingent, at least. everyone is a lot of fun, creative and smart and looking to find new ways to hang out. (next up: basketball on the roof playground.)

saturday: s and i spent our morning in ritual, eating bagels, drinking coffee and watching tv. (i love our saturday morning tradition. i look forward to it every week.) i mentioned i wanted to clean up the kitchen before we did anything else, and my off-handed comment turned into an intense afternoon of spring cleaning. i scrubbed the kitchen and did four more loads of laundry, s cleaned and organized the bedroom, and together we tackled the living room. (the bathroom is its own beast, to be done sometime this week.) it feels like a new apartment (almost), and i took great delight in opening the windows and letting in some fresh air. now i am blogging and he is talking to his parents, and soon we will settle down for the night.

i love getting to do new york things, like experiencing some art or getting a drink with co-workers. but i also like doing things that remind me that this is where i live, and this weekend made me feel really at home.

really magical new york

new york from above looks like jewels, if you had strands upon strands of tiny twinkly gems of every color that you could toss in the air and let land as they wished, criss-crossing or spreading out and always, always shining.

new york from above looks like ropes of christmas lights hung by a well-meaning grandfather (sometimes in a pattern and sometimes what can gently be described as abstract) and viewed through squinted eyes, or maybe eyes bright with tears from the beauty of it all.

new york from above looks too precious to be real, like the night sky in cartoons, all bright pin-pointed promise.

new york from above looks like the grains of sand still trapped in the cuff of my warm vacation denim, golden grains cascading across dark indigo, reminding me from whence i return.

i have all sorts of things to say about my beyond-lovely vacation, but as we flew in tonight, and i was thinking about the hassle of finding a cab and getting home and going back to work tomorrow and needing to do laundry (and on and on and on), i looked out the window and was taken aback by the beauty of this city from the air. it looked perfect and bright and i was reminded again of why i am drawn to this burning-alive city. oh, new york. you get me every time.

goin' to carolina

dearest new york,

you did this on purpose, didn't you? the day i am all set to jet off to charleston, thinking "see ya, eskimo city", you get warm and beautiful, all blue skys and light breezes. feels like fifty-two degrees? where were you last week? and i bet you made sure s didn't have to work today, so that we could go run errands in the sunshine and coo at puppies in t-shirts and little babies in cowboy boots. it certainly was no accident that they made my bagel perfectly and that we had one last episode of project runway to watch (yes, i know, behind the times) so that i spent my saturday in perfection. i get it, new york. you're nervous, afraid i'm going to south carolina and will come back changed, in love, maybe a little more tan. (well, i can hope, right?)

but don't worry, my darling. you will always be my first love, my last love, (and dare i be too carrie bradshaw), one of my greatest loves. so let's make next week special; i haven't gone out in far too long. we'll go on a date on thursday, take in the sights and sounds of this bright-lights big city. i'll miss you, but i know this absence will make my heart grow fonder.

goodbye for now (only a few days!),
m

sorry, blog

i've been gone so long, and i'm sorry blog. i never meant to desert you. i've just been busy doing things that are not particularly of interest (not even to me) and thus have not had the time to do things worth writing about. s said to me tonight (from his break at work) "are you going to blog tonight?" and i thought "about what?" and since i want to write about something, and i am sad my blog now languishes for days, i share this:

i once made jon stewart laugh. it was one of my proudest moments, and it still makes me smile to think about it. s and i saw demetri martin a few weeks ago in union square and he and i had some prolonged eye contact on the street corner. last time we were at brooklyn superhero supply, we walked past john hodgeman and john oliver walking in to play scrabble for liars (as i exclaimed "amazing! AH-mazing!" and not about them, as i am afeared they thought, as they gave me an odd look.) so i just know that someday, when i walk into my first day of work, they're all going to be like "hey, don't i know you?" yes, boys. yes you do.

things about today that made me happy

+ i am a big time nerd for real estate. i love looking at and considering property (when i lived at home, it was my mother and my hobby--we went out every weekend looking at places she and my father could potentially buy. ah, to be in their price bracket.) anyways, s and i are moving (due to a long list of complaints about the current place, including the reason i am blogging the living room and not from the comfort of my usually dry bed) and that means i get to look at apartments. i spent the morning touring studios with mk, and fell in love with a brooklyn heights one bedroom. keep those fingers crossed. (by the way: do we think a 12% brokers fee is criminal? that's $2200 people. i think that's highway robbery, even if colin is the nicest.) i have included a photo of my (hopefully) future bedroom. you know, where the magic happens. as they say on cribs.

+ i got to go to tisserie, the cutest little coffee shop in union square. their tartlets look like little jewels, and while i have never had one, i think they are the prettiest, cutest desserts ever. plus they make a delicious almond latte.

+ i met a good friend of mine from college at said tisserie, for coffee and theatre talk. he's a playwrite, a great one, and likes me as a person and as an actress, and wants to collaborate on something, which makes me extremely happy. i miss acting, i sincerely do, and i think i was hoping i wouldn't feel that way, but it keeps getting stronger. having someone in my life who encourages me as an actress (and is not a member of my family) and has the means to really get something going is inspiring.

+ we then met up with a dear friend of mine from college who was in town on spring break (ohh, the jealousy i feel!) we went to dinner at heartland brewery (what with this being a midwest reunion and all) and talked about old friends and had a lovely evening. i trained uptown with him and braved the rain and times square to see him off to his show. this is one of the best things about living in new york: everyone wants to come to new york, so everyone visits me, and wants to go out in my city, which means that i get to see people i otherwise would never get to. which is great, since i miss my friends a lot.

+ s and i came home together and watched lost and talked apartment. now he's looking for jobs and i am typing away, and soon we will snuggle under the blankets and talk future. and nothing makes me happier than that.

what made you happy today, blog?

family part 2: 24 hours in boston

my sister goes to college in boston, a city i know mainly for airports and bus terminals, and that i've been wanting to get to know more about. she keeps insisting i come visit, and since she'd been to new york twice since my arrival (independent of my moving here, but here none the less), i felt i owed her a visit.

while fung wah and its tales of woe terrify me, there are plenty of other cheapie chinatown buses that go to south station in boston and twice now i have enjoyed lucky river. i missed my 9 am bus by ten minutes (me to s: "i missed the bus by ten minutes! what a bummer!" s: "i knew you'd never make it." my reputation precedes me, apparently.) after going bus to t (the boston t is like a baby subway, if your baby was dirty and not particularly convenient) to shuttle to campus, i was finally greeted by my sissy. i got a tour of her house first. she lives in the "arts haus," a campus housing option for particularly creative students. they live in a big rambling old house and throw elaborate costume parties (past themes include: 70s porn, space porn, circuses. a wholesome lot.) after meeting her lovely friends we went vintage shopping at garment district, a huge warehouse of clothing from a variety of decades and home to the famous (also: scary) "dollar a pound," a pile of clothing you literally wade through ("jump on in!" my sister said) and literally pay $1 per pound of. upstairs (in a more traditional shopping setting) we found the world's most amazing purple sparkly jumpsuit, and it was decided that i would purchase said garment to wear to the night's party. we t'd downtown to the ica and explored part of their permanent collection and enjoyed "the world as a stage," about the intersection of the art world and theatrical performance (gee thanks, college degrees in theatre and art history, for helping me to make sense of it all.) while there are four floors inside the brand-new building, only one displays art, and we had plenty of time to eat delicious tibetan food before the party.

friday night's party was in honor of the mash-up: only mash-ups were played, and you had to come dressed as a mash-up of two different people. with purple suit, big sunglasses, a symbol tattoo and a (faux) pet monkey, i went as a combination of prince and paris hilton (i was a big hit with the drunk college students.) we danced and danced and it was a lot of fun, although it made me realize i am done with that college world of big drunken parties and random hook-ups and vomiting unusual colors. i miss my college friends a lot, and i've had pangs of jealousy for the good times my still-in-school friends seem to be having, but the truth is, as i danced in my purple jumpsuit, laughing with my sister, i realized that i am an adult now. the next morning, they swapped stories about various night-before collegiate doings, and i listened, and smiled, because i remember those post-party debriefings, and it's just very far from what my life is now. and i really really like what my life is now.

anyways, we brunched, and sister gave me a tour of the snowy new england tufts campus and we took pictures with jumbo, their elephant mascot, and it was a pretty morning on a pretty campus, and then i packed up and came back home, to eat dinner with s and get ready to go to work the next day. it was a whirlwind trip, but just enough time to have fun and see a little more of my sister and her city. next time i want to visit boston in the spring, and stay while, to really get a feel for the place.

it's good to be home.

also

this morning as my f train crawled along the above ground track, i saw two dogs on a very very high rooftop. just hanging out. occasionally chasing a bird. how did they get up there, i wanted to know. did someone put them there? that's not nice, trapping dogs so high above ground. dogs need grass and soft beds and friendly pats. not rooftops.

tomorrow: family part 2: 24 hours (or less!) in boston

family part 1: next to normal

last week mk (my bwf), and my owf and i went out to the theater. i am ashamed to admit, as a degree holder in theater and a former actress (former not for long, hopefully), that i hadn't seen anything since i'd moved here four months ago. not for lack of loving it, but s isn't a big theater goer, and it's not as much fun for me to go alone. (though i have--i sobbed by myself through an incredible production of "long day's journey into night" a few years ago with vanessa redgrave, brian dennehy, phillip seymour hoffman and robert sean leonard.)

my owf made the plans (she's a big-time planner) and got us tickets to next to normal, a new off-broadway show about a dysfunctional family dealing with depression and a past death. it was a rock opera, which i have a love-hate relationship with. i love those big goofy rock numbers with their musical theater geeks belting out the lyrics, but i also have to laugh at them, doing their pigeon-toed graspy-hand song-emoting (you know the kind, it's the "rent" cliche, twisting their bodies in as they get more expressive, the minimalist rock opera opposite of the joyful arms-and-legs-splay of precursors like "oklahoma!") anyways, the music is good, good enough that songs still are popping into my head, and the acting was done very well by the husband and wife, and reasonably well by the daughter and her boyfriend and the dead son, and not very well at all by the doctor (who did not work at all as a rockstar in a fantasy sequence.) the set design was great, if a little spare, but every piece worked and helped to create some really interesting stage pictures. (i especially liked the song in which she is getting electro-shock therapy--told you it was about mental health--and she was standing straight up and it was as if she was on the operating table, and they other actors laid down so that the audience seemed to get the view from above.) the band was onstage, always a nice touch, especially since the pianist was really rocking out. i enjoyed it, it was a fun night at the theater.

it of course got me thinking about my own dysfunctional family. i adored my family, don't mistake me. i think they are great and wonderful and i love them and they love me, but i can also see them as human beings, and recognize their flaws, and i drive them crazy and they drive me crazy. i get along really really well with my parents, my mom is one of my best friends, and i can talk to them both about anything and everything. my sister and i have had huge fights, but i am in awe of her and her creative passion, and i don't believe she actually thinks i am boring. my family has struggled through a lot of things that have certainly helped define who i am and how i think about and respond to the world, including dealing with depression and mental health problems. so it was interesting to watch this kind of a show, to see such lives and problems lived out onstage. i felt that the show dealt with it as delicately as possible, not taking sides, not making crazy seem crazy. but it was still a little hard for me to watch, and i felt myself unwilling to discuss it with my audience mates, especially after my owf made a comment about how she didn't really understand why someone who suffers from depression would want to go off their medication even if they felt it was dulling the edges a little. (which i suppose goes back to the argument about creative types not wanting to medicate for fear of losing the creativity.) i think we always respond to what we can identify with onstage (unless it's pure spectacle, like those skyscraper puppets in "the lion king"), and i responded to a lot of the show in ways that i know my friends did not.

anyway, it got me thinking, that's all. and i had more to say, but i saw it awhile ago, and i've thunk my thinks already.