happy new year!

i knew i was home on saturday night. the city was cold, and i passed people of every size, shape and color, and the buildings twinkled like the stars. cab fare was donated to me, and my very heavy suitcase was happy to get loaded into a trunk and driven home across the brooklyn bridge, which looks like it is held up by fairies.

my cab driver asked me what i did, and i said i worked for a community arts program, that i had degrees in theatre and art history, that i miss acting but i like a life of stability. he then proceeded to tell me that he used to be an actor, that he stage political works and hosted benefits back home in bangladesh. this was an extra-curricular, because during the day he was a general manager for pfizer. he was also a photographer, and had had a few shows back home. (a nice life, right?) then when his daughter was four years old she lost consciousness, and spent a week in the hospital. she is now brain-damaged, and they moved to the u.s. thirteen years ago to get her better medical attention. he and his wife and his son live here, and he drives a cab. and still organizes benefits to help human rights groups and natural disaster relief campaigns back home. i hope i have that much fortitude someday.

new hampshire was lovely, tranquil and snowy and full of family, food and games upon games upon games. i like the extended s family very much, and i think they've taken a shine to me too. (all of his little cousins are convinced that we are going to get married. and very giggly about it.) also, they are all adorable. s's brother sent little o down to see how long dinner would be. he came back and said "5 or 10 minutes." "oh, good" d said. "i don't know which one," o said. "five or ten, i don't know which one!" i love babies.

i went back to work today, trudging through the coldest winds, sitting on a belated f train for 40 minutes, bracing myself against the fire alarm that was tested every five minutes for three hours at work. and still i am glad to be back. i missed new york, i missed the walk up broadway from columbus circle, i missed my neighborhood and my cold little bedroom (now with bed frame, hallelujah!), i missed drinks out with mk and coming home to the roommates and their jokes and videogames. i am carving out a life for myself here, making it work one day at a time, and i am loving it all along the way.